I want to Run or just melt away

I want to run or just melt away,
I try,
I ain't growing shorter by the day.
I want to disappear,
but I keep on re-appearing.
I want to float with the clouds,
kiss the skies,
but I can't fly.
I want to understand the whys and the hows and the whos,
and all I hear is a silent SOOOshhhhhh.
Eyes are open and yet closed,
Ears listen and don't hear,
I breath but with no air,
I freeze and cold I have not become,
I can't comprehend the cosmic happenings,
so I will try vanishing like a ring of smoke among low hanging clouds,
fast and quick.