I watched a pigeon die in my palms
death slapped on my face early morning
its eyes pleading for life
lungs longing for breath
as it lay down its broken neck
I stroked its feather
helpless utterly helpless
I stood there crying wishing I could help
It lay there battling with death
I understood its life in those few minutes
and when it looked at me I felt it knew me
it gave me a look almost saying I am scared I don't want to die alone
it looked thankful that I was around
I could see it
dying in my palms it left me shattered
but it was the one wounded
dying a painful death
its eyes I will never forget
like it was scared to die
the fear of death
may its soul rest in peace
and as I walked away the song playing on my player said
"life taught me to die"
such coincidence. bizzare
Excerpts
(transcriptions from my MSc dissertation. This has been edited and re-edited for the purpose of the thesis, but the original translation had amounted to such descriptions. I met some wonderful people and heard some beautiful stories.Having said that life in a village is difficult but it is simplistic and this simplicity is what sounds so complex to us)
In 2006, in a village called Womanang a few hours walk from Betsamang, a child was shot by a poisoned arrow. The child was returning from school in the evening and a cow didn’t let the way so he walked into the field and got shot. Earlier, people used to plant poisoned arrows in the field to keep away the predators. Usually the bow is installed late in the evening and removed in the morning but that day the man forgot to remove it and was busy elsewhere in his farm. The man was sentenced to three years of prison but he had seven children at home and some were blind and disabled. The government provided monetary grant to take care of the children and he was later released with royal decree but the man ended up paying Nu 20,000- 30,000 (Gup, pers comm.). It is very unclear if villagers still use such methods of managing wildlife but the incident has instilled fear in a lot of villages in and around the district that it is now cited as an example.People assess the incident as misfortune and justify it as his ‘karma.’
We work very hard every day throughout the year says the Tshogpa (spokesperson) of Betsamang. There is no difference between men and women here, everyone has to work equally. We get up early around 5 AM and work till eight then take a break to eat breakfast and we disperse again to work in the fields. We are usually not back till lunch time. Sometimes we have to lock our houses and go since everyone is at work but if there are grandparents around they look after the children else the house is mostly locked. Usually in the evenings, the day ends with sun set. We also have community labour system; we work in groups on a rotational basis helping each other. Usually the person we work for provides food and drinks, there is no money involved. He then silences his child from his third wife who is sitting on his lap, simultaneously chases the flies away and resumes his talk. We have to work hard else we do not get good harvest he says.
By the fourth month we have to finish ploughing the fields, the fifth month we plant millet, then we plant potatoes, rice, chillies and maize one after the other but throughout the year all the crops get eaten either by wild pigs, sambars, porcupine, barking deer or deers. Every animal eats something or the other. The deers love chillies and the porcupine eats potatoes like a human being, it is quite impressive, he peels the cover and eats the insides. If its maize he first gets the plants down by by nibbling the bottom and eats the fruit, very clever (Khandu, pers comm.).
Last year and the years before because of wildlife zai (my!) the pigs, sometimes at night there were five or six of them in the fields, you could see them from your house since most of our fields are far from our houses, but they wouldn’t budge even if you screamed at them, if the dogs went near them they would kill the dogs. For few years we had a lot of problem. Then we requested the forest department and they sent two foreigners, we even formed a pig committee and after we informed them where pigs turn up the most they fenced a farm with wire mesh which is still there but we were not allowed to kill them under any circumstance. We even put some potatoes in the farm to lure the pig but the pigs wouldn’t get in, instead some deers got in (he laughs) but they did cull some pigs. There was one pig that would walk into the fields in broad daylight, after he was killed his bones were sent for examination to a nearby town, it turned out that the mother of that pig was from the wild and the father was from our village that is why he would never leave the village! Not only him (the pig), these pigs are like humans, they come in groups sometimes there are eight or nine of them and they would empty the entire field. It is as good as we are raising these pigs. There is now a rule that you can kill if the pigs are within 200m inside the farm but by the time we bang utensils and shout, they are already out of the fields, these pigs are very intelligent (Tshogpa, pers comm.).
In 2006, in a village called Womanang a few hours walk from Betsamang, a child was shot by a poisoned arrow. The child was returning from school in the evening and a cow didn’t let the way so he walked into the field and got shot. Earlier, people used to plant poisoned arrows in the field to keep away the predators. Usually the bow is installed late in the evening and removed in the morning but that day the man forgot to remove it and was busy elsewhere in his farm. The man was sentenced to three years of prison but he had seven children at home and some were blind and disabled. The government provided monetary grant to take care of the children and he was later released with royal decree but the man ended up paying Nu 20,000- 30,000 (Gup, pers comm.). It is very unclear if villagers still use such methods of managing wildlife but the incident has instilled fear in a lot of villages in and around the district that it is now cited as an example.People assess the incident as misfortune and justify it as his ‘karma.’
We work very hard every day throughout the year says the Tshogpa (spokesperson) of Betsamang. There is no difference between men and women here, everyone has to work equally. We get up early around 5 AM and work till eight then take a break to eat breakfast and we disperse again to work in the fields. We are usually not back till lunch time. Sometimes we have to lock our houses and go since everyone is at work but if there are grandparents around they look after the children else the house is mostly locked. Usually in the evenings, the day ends with sun set. We also have community labour system; we work in groups on a rotational basis helping each other. Usually the person we work for provides food and drinks, there is no money involved. He then silences his child from his third wife who is sitting on his lap, simultaneously chases the flies away and resumes his talk. We have to work hard else we do not get good harvest he says.
By the fourth month we have to finish ploughing the fields, the fifth month we plant millet, then we plant potatoes, rice, chillies and maize one after the other but throughout the year all the crops get eaten either by wild pigs, sambars, porcupine, barking deer or deers. Every animal eats something or the other. The deers love chillies and the porcupine eats potatoes like a human being, it is quite impressive, he peels the cover and eats the insides. If its maize he first gets the plants down by by nibbling the bottom and eats the fruit, very clever (Khandu, pers comm.).
Last year and the years before because of wildlife zai (my!) the pigs, sometimes at night there were five or six of them in the fields, you could see them from your house since most of our fields are far from our houses, but they wouldn’t budge even if you screamed at them, if the dogs went near them they would kill the dogs. For few years we had a lot of problem. Then we requested the forest department and they sent two foreigners, we even formed a pig committee and after we informed them where pigs turn up the most they fenced a farm with wire mesh which is still there but we were not allowed to kill them under any circumstance. We even put some potatoes in the farm to lure the pig but the pigs wouldn’t get in, instead some deers got in (he laughs) but they did cull some pigs. There was one pig that would walk into the fields in broad daylight, after he was killed his bones were sent for examination to a nearby town, it turned out that the mother of that pig was from the wild and the father was from our village that is why he would never leave the village! Not only him (the pig), these pigs are like humans, they come in groups sometimes there are eight or nine of them and they would empty the entire field. It is as good as we are raising these pigs. There is now a rule that you can kill if the pigs are within 200m inside the farm but by the time we bang utensils and shout, they are already out of the fields, these pigs are very intelligent (Tshogpa, pers comm.).
Meloncholia
Give me your hand and feel my heart
it runs in my veins my soul in my eyes
my blank stare silently sings a thousand verses
I am blank, my mind is with you
you are blind and I am not too kind
you hide your love in a smirk and I bury mine in my eyes
dare to stare in my blank eyes
an abyss of love you will find
but you take your hand away and I my heart
I now hear sounds of fading footsteps
the creaking door of memories
I see the remains of your footsteps
carried by the foams of the sea
it now roams on another land I know
for me you are a washed memory
I sit and count the grains of sand.
I find rotten shells and dust of pearls
?
I am a slow moon,
I only shine in June
and by noon I am long gone.
I am a quick sun,
I run and run,
turn and run again.
I am still earth,
I was given birth
by the wrath of the big bang
so I sang and still sing
do you hear the ring?
I am all wrong
neither am I a slow moon
nor the running sun
or the still earth
the world is not turning
its just me
I go round and round
on the ground of space
the sun is meditating
it is enlightened
I see its halo
The moon is looking for warewolves
like a coy mistress
pretty moon
come soon
full moon
Jupiter has 13 moons
why am I on earth?
I only shine in June
and by noon I am long gone.
I am a quick sun,
I run and run,
turn and run again.
I am still earth,
I was given birth
by the wrath of the big bang
so I sang and still sing
do you hear the ring?
I am all wrong
neither am I a slow moon
nor the running sun
or the still earth
the world is not turning
its just me
I go round and round
on the ground of space
the sun is meditating
it is enlightened
I see its halo
The moon is looking for warewolves
like a coy mistress
pretty moon
come soon
full moon
Jupiter has 13 moons
why am I on earth?
Anger
I have loved and I have sinned
If you ask me to sin again,
I shall break your teeth!
I have cried and a sea of tears I have shed
If you want another sea,
I shall poke your eyes out!
My heart has been broken and stitched,
trampled and crumpled,
If you want to tread on it again,
I shall take your heart out and eat it with spices!
Now, leave me alone, there are 6Billion people in the world,
go make yourself useful- to someone else,
leave me alone!
If you ask me to sin again,
I shall break your teeth!
I have cried and a sea of tears I have shed
If you want another sea,
I shall poke your eyes out!
My heart has been broken and stitched,
trampled and crumpled,
If you want to tread on it again,
I shall take your heart out and eat it with spices!
Now, leave me alone, there are 6Billion people in the world,
go make yourself useful- to someone else,
leave me alone!
The Water in Us
We are but water in a bag of leather,
there is a sea inside like the sea you see,
drops of water in this vast canvas,
gel of water dancing as waves,
together but seperate,
a drop inseperable from the rest.
The blue sea flirts with the shiny shores,
frothy beer and bubbles so alive,
errupt and erase,
exist and cease,
the creases of the sea,
lines of beauty wrapped by the sky.
The ball in space
still says
I am turning.
There is light there,
it is night here,
but I can still sight the sun.
Now run and walk the sand on your feet,
feel the ground beneath the sheath,
dip your feet,
and let the water meet the water in you!
Mysteries.
Enjoy the beach for it is so out of my reach.
Zangtopelri
Secrets hidden in eyes,Shyness on the lips,
and the look could melt a thousand hearts.
She had nothing in her house,and I knew she had everything that she needed nothing.
But in a corner in a colourful altar were the Buddhas.
Mountains dear Mountains Oh Mountains Lovely Mountains
How beautiful you are
Somewhere above
beautiful cats purr
elegantly in snow it walks and drifts with the clouds
A long tail swinging in the cold breeze
As it walks the majestic rugged ridges
once considered a myth
the snow leopards still lives
and these are where the Bhutanese leopards live
on the edge in Bhutan's hinterland