Somewhere in between

Somewhere in between a book I found an unread note,
the pages were crumbled and it smelt of faded yellow paper,
and yet those words smudged in black ink sank deeper than any sword,
as a tear drop fell smudging the already smudged crumbled ruffled paper,
it blotted till eyes became too blurry to read and my heart sank,
like someone sitting on cushions,
so deep till no air could be felt and even the breath was of muffled sobs...

It was no love letter, nor from someone who had passed away,
it was a note written a long time ago.

Somewhere in between living and dreaming,
Somewhere in between trying to please and be pleased,
Somewhere in between the east and the west,
Somewhere in between soaking the sun and gazing at the moon,
Somewhere in between thinking and speaking,
Somewhere in between growing and laughing,
Somewhere in between wiping the tears and trying to smile,

I have failed.

Friends who once held hands and hugged hearts,
Foes who I never wanted any,
Family who I could never please,
Relatives whom I never met,
Love and Lovers, too many to see,
Books I failed to read,
Poems I could never sing,
A guitar I could never play,
Writers I never understood,
I have failed for too many reasons to quote.

Somewhere in between failing and trying to stand,
I sprain my leg and wince in pain,
it is a gloomy day and my heart is weary,
Somewhere in between ageing and growing
I lament, my life, my life
I weep for the dead and the ones who will die,
I weep because I want to cry...

Somewhere in between I read the note and it is my own elegy that I recite.....

ps- Rest in peace, all those who passed away
Live in peace, all those who still breathe